The Pistons are trying to trademark Stan Van Gundy's 'form a wall' call

The tide had already begun to turn when the Detroit Pistons rolled into the AT&T Center to take on the San Antonio Spurs on Jan. 6. The formerly moribund Motor City crew had ripped off five straight wins after waiving highly paid and underperforming forward Josh Smith, and were starting to look much more like, well, something than the costly pile of broken glass and disappointment that opened the season with just five wins in 28 games. Things kicked into another gear, though, with that matchup against the defending champs, and not just because Detroit won again; no, it's because suddenly the surge had a slogan.

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"We just form a f****** wall," Stan Van Gundy told his players during a late timeout, and while the lauded coach and first-time personnel boss was speaking specifically about the importance of protecting the rim so that San Antonio couldn't get a final-tenth-of-a-second tip try to answer Brandon Jennings' streaking layup, Pistons fans heard something else. They heard Van Gundy's passion, not only in the not-suitable-for-work diction in his huddle, but in the way his voice cracked as he detonated the F-bomb. They heard a call to arms, a mandate to stand up and be counted in trying times, "the antithesis of the basketball you've seen displayed" when you've tuned into the Pistons over the last few seasons. They heard a cry worth rallying around, worth celebrating, worth embracing ... and the organization instantly took notice.

When they returned to the Palace at Auburn Hills, the Pistons took the court to Pink Floyd. Detroit's dance team wore "The Wall Vs. Everybody" T-shirts. Hashtags were created and promoted. Try as Van Gundy might have to downplay the turn of phrase, it became A Thing, the sort of viral bit of cultural matter that inspires tons of unofficial merchandise.

It comes as no surprise, then, that the Pistons have sought to capitalize on the phrase in a more official capacity, with the NBA filing a pair of trademark applications with the United States Patent and Trademark Office.

The USPTO's Trademark Electronic Search System shows that Anil V. George, the attorney who handles trademarks regarding NBA brand names, filed two applications on Jan. 15 related to "form a wall" — not "form a f****** wall," of course, because you can't trademark profanity — on behalf of the Detroit Pistons Basketball Company, owned by Tom Gores. One application relates to the Pistons' current use of the "trademark in commerce with all the goods/services in your application," while the second indicates the "intent to use" the trademark in the future.

The current-use application covers "entertainment and educational services in the nature of ongoing television and radio programs in the field of basketball and rendering live basketball games and basketball exhibitions," among a number of other use cases that would afford the Pistons the exclusive right to slap "form a wall" on promotional materials for everything from game programs to clinics, camps, personal appearances by Hooper and the Pistons Dancers, team fan club services, electronic media content, and even "board games, puzzles, and trivia games." The future-use application has more to do with selling swag, including (but not limited to):

Clothing, namely hosiery, footwear, basketball shoes, basketball sneakers, slippers, T-shirts, shirts, polo shirts, sweatshirts, sweatpants, pants, tank tops, jerseys, shorts, pajamas, sport shirts, rugby shirts, sweaters, belts, ties, nightshirts, hats, caps, visors, warm-up suits, warm-up pants, warm-up tops/shooting shirts, jackets, wind resistant jackets, parkas, coats, baby bibs not of paper, head bands, wrist bands, aprons, undergarments, boxer shorts, slacks, ear muffs, gloves, mittens, scarves, woven and knit shirts, jersey dresses, dresses, cheerleading dresses and uniforms, swim wear, bathing suits, swimsuits, bikinis, tankinis, swim trunks, bathing trunks, board shorts, wet suits, beach cover-ups, bathing suit cover-ups, bathing suit wraps, sandals, beach sandals, beach hats, sun visors, swim caps, bathing caps, novelty headwear with attached wigs.

The good news is that your "FORM A WALL" paper baby bibs seem like they're still kosher. The bad news is that you've now officially read a blog post that featured both "Stan Van Gundy" and "tankini." My condolences.

It's a bit of a bummer, to be sure, that something as wild and free as SVG going ape about a simple defensive alignment eventually becomes the sort of thing that has to involve lawyers, government agencies and months-long application processes so that billionaires can make more bucks. But I suppose that's the way of the world in the big business of sports; nothing gold, not even screamed expletives regarding metaphorical masonry, can stay. At least we can still take pleasure in watching the still-surging Pistons, even if we can't yet do so while wearing an official team-branded novelty hat with attached f****** wig.

Hat-tip to r/NBA.

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Dan Devine is an editor for Ball Don't Lie on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at devine@yahoo-inc.com or follow him on Twitter!

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